Don't know about your inbox - mine is pretty quiet. Just the usual melange of generous Nigerians offering me access to millions in return for my bank details, a two for one meal offer from the Beefeater pub chain and a Google Alert on Mouser which at this time of year tends to be about carnivorous cats, not the distributor!!!
The one to catch my eye was headed "How Executives Can Reinvent Themselves to Enhance Job Prospects." It didn't read Excludes Bank Employees in brackets but I think we can assume that. It's just about 12 months too late for me as I got the tug in January.
This e-mail's cheery New Year message is based on the assumption that redundancies will rise and opportunities will shrink so you have to be savvy to get any jobs going, and so gives 10 tips to give you the edge, which I share with my comments
Number One is Confidence. Change your attitude and discover personal confidence.
This does not mean wearing a Superman outfit to the interview. Been tried and Lex Luther-like CEOs don't go for it.
Number Two is Have An Idea Of What You Want To Do. Which includes thinking about pastimes you enjoy and challenges.
If too many latch on to this one every football, NFL, rugby, baseball team will be inundated with applications. Any former Arrow or Nu Horizons execs are in pole position as the NFL New York Jets have just fired their coach.
Number Three is Be Ambitious, But Realistic. Everyone dreams of writing a novel.
H'm not too sure about that. Anyway a spy thriller titled Ferrites Are Forever or that magnum opus,The Day The Warehouse Carousel Crashed aren't going to hack it.
Number Four is Make Sure You Have a Market. Research your new career goal online to distinguish if there is a need for your new skill package.
Too many Elvis impersonators out there already, try something else.
Number Five is Rebuild Your CV. Go to a professional CV writer.
Good advice. I once worked with a guy whose voluminous CV - it would have been quicker to read War and Peace - included gems such as directed a production of Hamlet at age 12, and English Ice Hockey international. In those pre-Google days you could get away with it. Mind you to have done all the things he claimed we calculated he had to be 135 years old!
Number Six is Go Back to School. Learn new skills.
I went to a Course titled How to Run Your Own Business earlier this year. The tutor asked us in turn - What would we do if we won the lottery? I don't think my retire and watch football and cricket was the answer he was looking for.
Number Seven is Discuss Your Career Change. Confide in trusted colleagues
As they may be chasing the same career change I'm not sure this is a good idea. So I consulted the old trouble and strife (wife) on a new career, which is how I came to be clearing the guttering and redecorating the house!
Number Eight is Find the Opportunities. Look on career sites like TheLadders.co.uk from whom these messages come.
That's your free ad, chaps
Number Nine is Don't Leave It To The Letter. Sell yourself, don't be shy, call the recruiters personally.
This advice brings irresistibly to mind that great Peter Cook/Dudley Moore sketch where Moore auditions as a one legged actor for the part of Tarzan to Peter Cook's agent. The priceless lines are from Cook: "Your right leg I like. As soon as I saw it I thought Hello that's a lovely leg for the part of Tarzan. I've got nothing against your right leg. Trouble is neither have you."
Number 10 is Stay Focused. Your ideal role may not fall into your lap immediately so you may have to work elsewhere to continue to earn.
Must go I'll be late for my shift at Burger King.
Comments